Tapping the Troubles

I wasn’t going to run this week. Thought i would glower and growl my week away instead. I hate it when i become fixated on things i can’t control…like cancer. Not me or mine but still troubling me just the same.

Meanwhile i had just been to the doctor for my own set of keep me up at night diagnosis. Alpha 1 Antitypsin Deficiency. What? “I want you to get some blood work done…just as a precaution…” This after Dr. E had wailed on my back and made me breathe in and out like a hot and heavy phone perv. Then came the feminine annual…and lots of blood. “Let’s get you scheduled for a colposcopy, too.” Great. What else could go less than winsome? Turns out, dehydration. “Drink water.” Dr. E concluded. Right.

With all of this on the brain and a bright sun still shining i was convinced to go for a small run – a tiny run. It started out quiet. Up the bike path, through the speckled shadows of green, up to the busier road of Bridge, ignoring the care, past the cemetery of angels, back down the bike path. By then i knew i had logged four miles. By the time i got back to town i wanted to push it just a little further. Passed the pizza shop, crossed by the gas station (now closed, empty and forlorn) and beyond the book store and back down my street the other way. 4.33 miles.

I don’t know what to think of these runs i keep putting out. I know they clear my head. I don’t push for personal best. I don’t want to beat the competition real or in my head. I just want to save my sanity, one step at a time.