Hello Goodbye Hello

Good intentions. Is there a class i can take, a course i can master, something that will teach me how to stay on track? It’s either write about wanting to run or run and want to write about it, but not both. There seems to be no way to combine the two: run then actually write about it. This keeping track of everything has been started in strange fits. It’s making me have fits!

So. Here is my hello. Again. Deja vu.

I wanted to get outside. Running around the neighborhood affords me a sense of loss. I have no idea how far i can go and so i get lost in the run. Tonight, the thunder rolled across the sky like old wooden beer kegs. Within minutes rain drenched the streets and quelled my thoughts of outdoor running. Instead i turned to the trusty treadmill and climbed aboard. I knew i wanted an hour run. I wasn’t concerned with distance or pace. I have nothing to prove. This running thing is a slow climb out of hell called injury and depression. I knew i had to take it slow. So i would take an hour, however it came to me.

I don’t have an intimate relationship with the treadmill. I don’t know the difference between programs and levels. Nothing is set into the memory of my gerbil wheel so when i do play with the buttons it’s always an adventure. This time it was called “rolling hills” which i assumed (wrongly) had something to do with incline/hill work. Not so. It was all about speed. Having no clue about “levels” i set rolling hills to level 5 and prayed i could perform whatever craziness lay ahead.

I don’t need to tell you what walking a 20 minute pace will do to a running soul. It killed me. Deflated me. I almost wanted to pull the emergency stop cord and jump off. Get back to my old standby of quick start and go. But, i stayed with it and was soon running 6.1 miles an hour. That definitely felt better and i got used to the “rolling” that went along with it. So, while the rain fell steadily outside i chugged along on the treadmill, watching the miles tick by, happy to be moving.

In the end, i was able to eke out 5.3 miles. And for this chaotic mess, that’s pretty good.
Favorite songs:

• Joker and the Thief ~ Wolfmother
• Gone Daddy Gone ~ Violent Femmes
• West L.A. Fadeaway ~ Grateful Dead
• Use the Force ~ Jamiroquai
• Scorpio Rising ~ 10,000 Maniacs
• Disease ~ Matchbox 20
• Paralyzer ~ Finger Eleven
• Paint it Black ~ Rolling Stones
• Twilight Zone ~ Golden Earing
• This is How a Hear Breaks ~ Rob Thomas
• Don’t Drink the Water ~ Dave Matthews Band (Red Rocks version)
• Lose Yourself ~ Eminem
• Synchronicity II ~ Police